A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands. This wise advice will help you pour life into your marriage and into your children.
I’ve made many mistakes in my marriage because I lacked the wisdom that I needed to be in covenant God’s way. I learned the hard way that my actions of being foolish would have damaging affects on my household. I would like to impart some wisdom to you so that you won’t have to make these same mistakes.
This is a safe space and a judgement free zone. It is for the young & married, single, engaged, newlywed and seasoned married woman alike. Also, this post will teach you how to become the kind of woman who builds her home.
I’ll remain transparent throughout this post because I want you to experience freedom like never before in your home. I pray the seeds that are planted will take root in your heart and grow into godly fruit. Come along this journey and learn how to be wise women who build their home like the word of God declares.
This post is all about how to be a wise woman who builds her home.
Will You Choose Wisdom Or Foolishness?
Wives You Have Influence
The saying happy wife, happy life was something that I subconsciously lived by. Honestly, it was unfair to my husband to have that type of mindset and I’ll explain later as you continue to read why that was unfair. Godly wisdom according to the book of Proverbs is personified as a woman. I don’t believe that’s a coincidence that God likens wisdom to a woman. There isn’t a word In the bible that is wasted. So because the word of God says it then there is a purpose. As wives we are very influential to our husbands and because of that God wants us to use our influence for His glory.
In the Garden of Eden, the enemy convinced Eve to eat the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Eve wanted to be wise so instead of listening to the One who is wisdom Himself she did what she heard to be right. She then proceeded to give Adam some of the very fruit she was warned not to eat. The bible makes no mention of Eve ever having to convince Adam to eat. Adam just ate as Eve gave to him. That example alone shows the influence wives have over their husband. He could have said no, but I think that Adam wanted to please his wife. If we have that much influence over our husbands it would make sense that God wants the woman to be wise. A woman can be one who builds her home or she can be foolish causing detrimental damage.
What Is Godly Wisdom
My first response would be, “something that I didn’t have.” I know you probably got a little chuckle out of that statement, but it’s true. Google defines wisdom as the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgement. However, the wisdom that comes from above doesn’t come from our experiences. It’s divine in nature. There isn’t anything you necessarily have to go through to receive it. The bible says in James 1:5 that if you lack wisdom to ask God for it because he won’t rebuke you. In Proverbs 9:10 you will see that the fear of the LORD is the foundation of wisdom. In order to receive wisdom God is saying to reverence Him and to ask Him. He won’t turn you away!
Earlier I mentioned that I lived with the mindset happy wife equates to a happy life. Wisdom has completely destroyed that mindset. In a marriage the wife is not the superior being. Vulnerable moment here, I really thought that if he wasn’t doing exactly what I needed/wanted than it was okay to be angry. Instead of being bratty and acting out, God has taught me how to apply wisdom. The bible says we are to respect our husbands. It’s not always what you say but when and how you say it. I was the queen of being outside of the right timing of addressing major issues.
But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.
James 1:17
Do You Respect Him?
Sis, just a fair warning this section may frustrate you if you are anything like I was. I was so hot headed and angry that words often flowed out of my mouth before thinking. Silent treatments were often the tactics I used when I felt rejected. I was that foolish woman who tore down her house with her own hands. I was not a woman who had it all together. I came from a broken home where I didn’t see effective communication. I only saw passivity, manipulation, and control. I mirrored in my marriage what I seen in my childhood. To be transparent, I used to belittle and talk down to my husband as a means to make him feel the hurt I felt. A man needs respect, the word doesn’t tell us to love our husbands. Ephesians 5:33 says that wives must respect their husbands.
Respecting my husband was such a foreign concept to me. Society and your peers does a great deal of telling you how you should be in a marriage. Often times we hear things like “you don’t have to submit to no man” or “you need to have your own don’t depend on a man.” Those types of toxic ideas about what a wife should be will cause you to act in a foolish way. A wise woman who builds her home has mastered respecting her husband. Respecting your husband looks like you honoring him, allowing him to lead, not tearing him down, and trusting/supporting his decisions as he gets directions from the Lord.
Your Children Will Arise And Call You Blessed
Your influence as a wife doesn’t just reach to your husband. That same influence impacts your children. A wise woman who builds her home isn’t just talking about your marriage, but also your children. Because children are innocent and are like sponges it’s very important to build them up. Just because children are small in comparison to you doesn’t mean their feelings are insignificant. Often times we don’t allow our children to speak up when they’re hurting especially if it’s by the hands of us. It’s easy to say to a kid “because I said so.” Children don’t want to feel like they don’t matter. As a child I often was made to feel like my voice didn’t matter and because of that I was very rejected. As an adult I felt like I had a muzzle on my mouth.
That could have been avoided if I was built up more as a child. However, I do realize it wasn’t my mom’s intent to make me feel less than. Although some of my experiences were painful they have taught me to allow my children the freedom to speak how they feel. Other ways to be a wise mother who builds her home would be to make sure you are pouring into your children. Love them with the love of God. Sometimes the simplest thing you can do especially in the heat of the moment is to think before speaking. Allow the Father to show you how to be wise in your parenting.
May you become the wisest woman to your home. I pray that the wisdom of God would be your portion and that the peace of God would saturate your home. In Jesus name, Amen.
This post was all about was all about how to be a wise woman who builds her home.
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