There’s something that happens when inadequacy, trauma, & fear all show up at the same time.
They don’t whisper⸺they shout. They tell you you’re not good enough, not ready, not whole. They point to your past, your pain, your failures. And for a long time, I believed them.
But here’s what I need you to know, sis: God isn’t intimidated by your shortcomings. He’s not sitting on the sidelines waiting for you to get it all together before He decides to use you. No, He’s the kind of God who calls the broken, the scared, the unqualified⸺and He equips them along the way.
I know what it feels like to believe you’re too messed up for a miracle.
There were moments I felt completely shattered by the weight of life, especially as a wife and mother. Trying to heal while raising children and being present in my marriage has been one of THE hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I used to think, how can God use me when I can’t even get it right with my own family? But God didn’t let me stay in that lie. He constantly confronts that voice in my head with His truth: He knew everything about me and still chose me. The same is true for you!
For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.
romans 8:29-30 esv
One of the most defining moments for me came in the quiet of my closet. While my husband and kids were in another room, I sat on the floor⸺completely broken⸺with a bottle of pills I poured into my hands. I didn’t want to die, but I didn’t know how to keep living like that either. In that dark closet, eyes full of tears, I silently cried out to God, Help me PLEASE don’t let me do it! And in that moment⸺right there in my pain⸺the Holy Spirit stepped in. Peace covered me. I put the pills away, wiped my face, and walked out of the closet. Later, I began to share with my husband how heavy I was feeling and what I was on the verge of doing. He then proceeded to share with me that at the exact moment I was crying out to God unbeknownst to Him God laid it on his heart to intercede for me and to pray against the spirit of suicide. That moment marked me. God showed me He sees me even when I feel invisible. He fights for me even when I’m ready to give up.
And He’ll do the same for you!
Your fear doesn’t disqualify you. Your trauma doesn’t cancel your calling. Your feelings of inadequacy don’t stop God’s anointing. If anything, they’re the very places His power shines the brightest. The Holy Spirit has been my strength when the lies got loud. When my own mother said things that should’ve shattered me, God used it as an opportunity to draw me closer to Him. He affirmed me in ways no human ever could.
Even when I didn’t feel qualified, even when I doubted everything⸺I kept writing. I kept showing up for my children. I kept choosing obedience, not because I had it all together, but because I’ve learned that obedience is what opens the door for healing.
Not perfection. Just surrender.
Obedience while broken looks like this blog. It looks like showing up for someone while God is still tending to your wounds. It looks like letting the Holy Spirit guide you moment by moment, trusting that He knows what He’s doing even when you don’t.
And you know what? God has confirmed it every step of the way. He told me to post on instagram and the reach went further than I expected. I’m not sharing that for applause⸺but to show you what happens when you move in His strength & not your own. The impact wasn’t because of me⸺it was because of Him moving through me. That’s the anointing. And that’s what He desires to do through you too.
So, if you’re sitting in silence, afraid to move forward⸺please hear me:
You are not too broken to be used. God’s hand is still on you. Broken crayons still color, and you still have a voice. There’s someone waiting on the other side of your obedience. Silence only glorifies the enemy. But your yes⸺even a shaky one⸺can change lives.
I want you to know this isn’t easy, but it is worth it. Surrendering to God’s plan comes with wrestling. But it also comes with peace, purpose, and power. My story is not just for me. And neither is yours. God knows what He’s doing. Trust Him, walk with Him. Let the Holy Spirit lead you⸺through the fear, through the doubt, through the healing.
You’re still called. You’re still anointed. And you’re not alone.
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